My Postpartum journey.

Enjoy your time with your newborn as they grow up pretty fast.

My postpartum journey

Hey Hi, it’s me again. Same same but with different content. 3 months have passed since I gave birth to baby Aelfred.

First and foremost, shoutout to my husband Nic, who has been patient enough to look after me and Aelfred. I can be difficult I know. So I am blessed to have a husband who cooks and cleans the house more than I. Not to forget that Nic always try his best to cover some of the night feeding baby Aelfred. Some nights, he will just wake up with me and accompany me while I feed Aelfred too. He will be entertaining me by sharing what nightmare/dreams he just had, his talent is talking you see.. I didn't dismiss his effort ok. 

I still remember when I was overwhelmed with engorged boobs, he managed to ask around to get postpartum urut kakak to ease my suffering and I also remember although he just had his knee surgery, he still stands strong for this small family we have. He basically does everything a husband and confinement center would do. To be honest, he took care of my needs so well that I doubt if I make him feel the same way.

"You think you love your husband? Wait until you see him as a dad."

Secondly, I am grateful to have 90days of maternity leave. I thought it was a holiday with paid salary at first but… (let the story begin)

Taken this pic a few hours post-delivery! So grateful that I got the first class ward. 

Just recalling what has happened. I still remember being discharged from the hospital, and I was excited to bring Aelfred home. Many newborn babies were having jaundice/G6PD/GBS and so on which required them to continue to stay at the neonatal intensive care unit you see. So when Doctor told me that baby Aelfred is good to go really made me very happy. Can’t wait to just stay home with my husband and my child. Little did I know that it is the beginning of responsibility and sleepless nights.

My experience at the hospital was fine but I remember watching many pregnant women being admitted then given birth then discharged but I am to stay. It is like having an exam and everyone else passed but you keep having to stay back. Baby Aelfred just not coming out you see. But I know God was with me throughout. I am very much blessed to have the Hospital director of obstetrician DR.Y to do the Caesarean for me. I was told that he doesn’t anyhow hands-on and having said that, he is a real gem! First time being patient in the operating theatre can be inundated/overwhelming but DR.Y was there to hold my hand during epidural insertion and having him patting my head to reassure me and also having him visiting me every morning at the ward can really make me feel special that the nurses thought I am Somebody. Thus, glory to God who put me in a good hand.

 Right after I woke up from my Cesarean surgery, it was 12 midnight and I was listening to this song too. Please listen too! Super comforting yo.

Coming back to the story of my postpartum; reach home, I still remember, my husband and I just keep staring at Aelfred. He was asleep at the hospital and then we witness his first cry at home and we both were like "is it a cuddle? is it milk" we were so clumsy from feeding him to burping him. We googled everything. We were so happy Aelfred survive the first day. On the second day morning, some home-visiting nurses came over to check on me and Aelfred. Nothing much, the nurses just came to check my Blood pressure, scar site, measure my fundal height and my newborn Aelfred. They continue to come every day for 2 weeks and I get to seek advice regarding my doubt about the care of a newborn.

First, the newborn makes a lot of meaningless noises! At first, it drained me so much as I'm very sensitive to noise, I kept waking up and turning on the table lamp- checking out Aelfred thinking if it was wet diapers/mosquitoes that make him make noises. phew~

On the second day itself, baby Alfred has 4 visitors. I was very unhappy about having guests coming over during my confinement. I told Nic that I deserve rest and I am in a situation where I am clumsily vagina bleeding and clumsily having leaking boobs and an uncomfortable tight Caesarean scar site but Nic end up telling everyone that I am depressed. But true, I find myself crying a lot in the first month probably because of poor sleep and unending unpleasant herbal food to eat. There are days when I just cry while pumping milk/ before sleep.

We received many gifts and red packets which add up to the total amount of 5 digit MYR. It's crazy to receive so much money in a month. Now then having visitors is not so bad except I have to patiently listen to weird superstitious advice.  

I basically work round the clock, either cleaning the house or feeding the baby/changing diapers/ pump milk every 3 hours! 

This is one of the example of a 2 months age baby routine k.

 But I am grateful that at least Nic is working from home so when I needed to use the bathroom he can cover me for a while. Can't imagine how mothers out there with newborn child survive with a husband who works at the office and has zero other helpers! Can't imagine how am I supposed to cope with taking care of Aelfred when Nic goes to China in near future. 

Nic ft Aelfred at Doctor appointments.

Aelfred when he was early 1 month age.
The first few cheeky smile! 

Besides having visitors at home, Nic insist we went out to get some fresh air on day 15 but I was paranoid about the contaminated air that may harm Aelfred. I guess Nic was trying to distract me and somehow going out of the house does help me with my unstable emotion. Nic has been a great chef at preparing food for me tho. So we will forgive him for his way of lacking. Afterall, we both are new in this parenting.

Tho we thought we got a glimpse of Aelfred’s routine in the first week, later only we know that the routine is not fixed and baby usually undergoes transition every few weeks.

We are blessed to have this sweet young girl named Kamryn from the Mississippi United States who volunteer to look after Aelfred for few times. At first, Nic and I doubt if she really wants to help or just wants to come to visit for a while, later we realize that she is really good with the baby. On Aelfred’s 48days old, we decided that it was time for a road trip back to our hometown (Kedah and Johor) which is a total of 1000km. Planning was easy till the day of the road trip arrived, we were burned out the night before as Aelfred keep awake the whole night. Is it a sign that Aelfred's protesting about the road trip?

 

Aelfred's first 1000km RoadTrip

Last minute on the day of the road trip, Nic was hoping Kamryn will come along. “Impossible and low chance,” I said as Kamryn came from the U.S for her summer holiday 6 months, I am sure she has many things she wants to do as she visits Malaysia plus we just get to know her a few days before Aelfred was born, but thank God that Kamryn is steady and willing to come along hahaha. I manage to get a good nap in the car! 

 On 7 Nov which is my birthday, it was the most boring birthday in history. No celebration and even the slice of cake was bought and lit up by myself. *emo* because Nic says he doesn't celebrate his birthday.
What a time to be alive Grace.

But God provides ok. A few days later, Kamryn invited the church members to throw a surprise birthday party for Nic and me. I am so thankful for each one of them. Feeling alive and my heart is full! But I know someday in the future there will be no celebration but I know I should not be self-pity, I am blessed with many things/ moments in the past already yo.

Many people at the party were surprised by the number of people invited thus the kind soul (sis Linda) who bought this cake thought half is enough. But it is enough ok. Sharing is Caring <3

I manage to fully breastfeed Aelfred for 2 months plus before my milk supply decreases. I guess it was mainly because of the long road trip and the inconsistency of pumping milk. So, Aelfred's diet changes to formula milk during the night feed and breastmilk during the day feed. We are using S26 formula milk which has the highest similarity in taste with breastmilk thus Aelfred didn't have difficulty in accepting two types of milk at the same time.

But there are seasons where I manage to get fully breastfed Aelfred again, like these few days. HEHEH

Breastmilk on Day 8 is so yellowish <3
SAD THAT THIS WAS THROWN AWAY BECAUSE NIC SAYS WE HAVE TOO MUCH BREASTMILK SO NO NEED TO STORE IT. *BRB CRYING NOW*

My menstruation was back after 1 month 20 days post delivery Aelfred. That is fast, isn’t it?! My friend who breastfeeds their child has their period after 6 months-1 years but here I am having my menstrual cycle back. Surprisingly, my second menstruation postpartum was one day late ONLY. (It's expected to be irregular after postpartum k). That one day late causes us both to worry if I am pregnant again. So anyway, this time we have to be careful but you never know what’s God’s plan since I was called to be a mother even before I think I was ready. Nic advised me to get the family planning Condep injection which is a type of birth control method. Super sad as I might not get my period anymore after this. Used to be so proud of my healthy regular menstruation. Such is a woman's life. Reality hits as everything has consequences. 

Cutie got his first haircut.

 

We decided to send Aelfred to the child care center when he was 2 months age as we are very much burnout and my body is out of shape. The same day, we send Aelfred to the Centre is the exact same day I went back to the gym! We couldn't afford a personal helper so we have to send Aelfred to the Centre which causes him to have a higher risk to fall sick. Well, he got flu and cough in the 1st week, an eye infection in the 2nd week, and a high fever in the 3rd week. Not sure about the following weeks and I just hope he will stay healthy. *heartbroken* I still remember he was having rapid breathing and the Doctor suspected pneumonia and advised us to admit Aelfred (draw blood & radiograph) but Nic said he prefer to continue monitoring first ; Thank God, Aelfred manage to recover on his own. 

The bad thing about the childcare center is babies get sick and diseases spread very often there while Good thing about Taksa is that the teacher can't leave the baby crying as other babies will be disturbed and also if one teacher practices something weird to the baby, another teacher can reprimand her. I was praying for a cheap personal child taker and recently one of the church members introduce her friend who was willing to look after Aelfred alone (one-to-one) with super cheap fees.. Now then We can't decide where to send Aelfred. 

39.2 degree Celsius  

These two machines we bought online are super helpful to monitor babies.
Smart Nic is smart to get these.

To remove all the stuck mucus in the baby.

Thermometer with both infrared and ear thermometer.
Better accuracy.

Day 89, was my last day of maternity leave before I go back to work and it was our first wedding anniversary too. Pathetic first anniversary with no celebration. Well, I guess this is my life now. A summary of my early motherhood. LOL. Hater doesn't rejoice in my sadness pls. I still love my husband. (love/annoyed) TEEHEE

But I am thankful for each day, Aelfred's smile always motivates me. So here's a picture to motivate you too! Share with you <3

Video instead because you have been patient enough to read this here. HEheh

OH, day 89 I have unsubscribed from my gym membership as there is an impossible time in the near future for me to visit the gym. 

Today is day 90 and I am back to work! Mixed feelings. Excited to see my colleagues and start treating patients but also not sure if I can manage to send Aelfred to and fro the childcare center on time every day. There are extra charges if late by each minute k. 

The morning of my first day back to work, it was such a rush that I couldn't find my working shoes. Tho the shoes were right in the same place but I couldn't recognize it as it was full of dust and spider web. Then I underestimate the morning traffic where all the parents were busy sending kids to school but I still manage to reach the clinic at 7:40am. WHOOTs!

Also, I forgot to bring my pump breast machine, so I leave my swollen boobs till lunchtime. But the amount of breastmilk decided to double as I start working now! I hope Aelfred can drink more milk! 

Back to the clinic, everyone seems happy & greeting me. Some of my nurses were sharing her postpartum story which make me realize I am really blessed yo! Thus I edited this blog entry again. Listening to someone's else story is really important during postpartum. It helps you to see things from different perspective yo! SO go get some fresh air and don't lock yourself in the room like me ok. 

Balancing between happiness and sadness is life.

Here are three of my fav playlist recently;

 

Last but not least, 

Dear self, stay strong.

Till then, XOXO.

If you ever feel life can be tough/sucks, just remember me too but I am still alive and well. 

LOVE YOURSELF! 

Because nobody else will.

Except for Jesus. Jesus loves you ^^

Hope my story helps you feel better somehow.