Not now ≠ no

 How many of you have something in your life right now that's taking longer than it should if God is big? 

How many of you have something in your life right now that you feel like, "God must be telling me no"

Well, He might.

In the bible, King David wanted to build a temple for God. Who better to do it? He wrote all of the songs. Why not build the house that would house the songs he wrote for God? But he didn't get to do it.

In fact, the prophet told him, "Go ahead. Do it, That sounds good," and God stopped the prophet in his tracks. The prophet had to pivot and turn back and say "David, I went home and prayed about it. I love you so much, you are amazing, incredible as a leader. I thought surely God would let you do it and God would say yes to you. To built a temple for God. Why wouldn't God get behind that? It's a good thing?! But the Lord didn't say "no". he said "not you."

That's hard to hear. God says, "Not you. But your son Solomon is going to do it. You have too much blood on your hands, but I'm still going to do it through you." 

David spent the rest of his life storing up the materials to hand over for a project he would never personally receive the benefit from. 

God is a teacher, and a good teacher knows when to go slow. Maybe he is going slow because he wants to show you something.

Years ago, I approached a church lady to teach me piano, and I went to one lesson. She seemed more interested in impressing me with how fast she could play it than showing me how I could. I leave knowing nothing, and she probably feel good about herself. Well, if she really wanted to teach me, she had to slow it down.

We ask Jesus to teach us things, and we are surprised when He slows it down. We ask him to give us patience. Bad idea huh? because God is giving you what you ask for by slowing down.

I don't know about you, but I hate the feeling in life like I've fallen behind, the embarrassment of thinking,

"I should know how to do that by now, but I don't"

Recently, I accidentally went through my colleague's WhatsApp on desktop. I am such a terrible person.. Well, this colleague of mine has a habit of not signing out from WhatsApp web and my sinful flesh is very much in temptation. I am desperate to know the truth OK. I did turn away a few times when I saw the open WhatsApp web on the desktop. Conclusion: I am glad I did. I only search for my name on the WhatsApp key word. Only to know that this colleague has been a two-face enemy. 

Imagine having so much bitterness with all other colleagues only because of the wrong reason. Now I know who I should be careful with. Because of privacy invasion, I have to deal with my insecurity of other people reading my WhatsApp LMAO. I am a pretty forgetful person, sometimes I forget to bring my phone out with me, so my desktop is connected to my WhatsApp. Well, that's the price to pay I guess. Now, I would rather sign out my WhatsApp web and have no access to WhatsApp for the day than for another person to go through my WhatsApp. HAHAH

My WhatsApp and conscience are clear. Probably can go through my conversation with my hubby to find out my "the tea." Anyway, this reminds me of my terrible privacy invasion on my hubby during our fiancé journey where I decided to go through his diary only to find out his cheating past history. I talk to my counsellor and my counsellor told me, 'perhaps it was God who wanted to reveal such to you'

When invading one's privacy, I don't really feel scared. My conscience is clear, maybe the person should feel guilty right? I thought “I should be taken to a torture chamber and burned as a witch.”

Mixed feelings. I hope I will not invade my children's privacy. Lord help ;(

Read this in a book named Parenting Map (share with you)

I may give you birth and hearth,

But without a doubt, it is you who have given me life

And an awakening I could never have imagined on my own.

You, my dear child, are my greatest teacher.

Through you I learn how to love without control,

To caretake without possession,

And to raise myself before I raise you.

My own mother never invaded my privacy and I wonder how she does that/has such self control. What if your child is low-key messed up, at least if you go through their privacy you can catch a glimpse of their life crisis kan? 

Ever since becoming a long distance kinda single-parent now, I find myself care less about my hubby's social life. My hand are too full to add more burden. Just have peace with me, myself and I. Well look, deep down inside, I still have self-control not to invade someone's privacy ok. Meaning, there's reason for everything I do. Perhaps. 

I gained 2.4kg in 2 weeks. My gynae ask me to monitor my BP for next 2 weeks. gg

Imma waiting for my short getaway in 10 days time. May all be good. Last getaway before 2nd child come out. 

Nothing much. Goodbye. Till then, TC.