Summer air, freedom and you.
Maybe you don't end up with the person your heart chooses. Maybe that's not how life works. Maybe you don't get what you want. Maybe you end up finding what you need, and maybe that's okay.
To the person who capture this pic,
It has been 10 years since we first met.
He used to say ;
If it's meant to be, it will be.
It might take years, days, but what's meant to be will always find its way.
Never force anything. Give it your best shot, and then let it be.
No matter how impossible, unattainable or unimaginable something may seem.
If it's meant to be, it'll be.
He is the one that make me start reading up on quotes. Quotes always make me feel that I am never alone. He is the one that told me sometimes when you can't describe how you feel, songs always make it a lot better. And we used to send each other songs so much so.
I always wanted to be bold, always wanted to be something powerful. A woman to be reckoned with. But he saw through that tough exterior. He saw the strong, but sensitive woman who wanted to be loved.
He taught me that letting someone in is not something terrible, even if it doesn't end up the way you planned. You taught me that love is beautiful, even if you get your heart broken.
You taught me that sometimes we love and lose, but it doesn't make it any less worth it.
I remember sitting at a corner crying hoping he will stay.
"never beg for anyone to stay" he say.
These are the words I hold dearly till today.
I still remember he said 'We are too young for forever' and I agreed.
I remember when we decided to go on our separate way, he told me to give him a chance-a week to bring me out for a proper date and to treat me right, the way I deserved, and I agreed.
We went for fine dining, we went to theme park, to cafe, cinemas, to the church, baking, we also went to the beach and to Singapore. I remember he prepare breakfast for me; a toast bread, an egg and a cup of hot milo. He haven't do these for a very long time. In the car he will play Jay chou's songs too. He took many candid pictures of me, he bought me gift, Flowers and he wrote me love letter. He did everything I love. I always thought he never notice. We spent exactly one week together. Each morning he will pick me up from my house and send me back home right after sunset and that's how I always prefer. We would watch every sunset for that one whole week together. Not to forget that we play table tennis, card games and everything we used to do just like in the beginning of time. I realized he actually aware of what I want all these while.
On the last day of that week, that evening, he sat close to me yet across the table, gently tucking my hair behind my ear and look into my eyes like he always do and he says these with tears in his eyes; "Grace, find someone who do all these for you, find someone who treat you right. You deserved it."
Deep down our heart we know we have loved each other. Also, yet we both knows this relationship had too much scar to move forward and we both agreed to move on instead. He knows me the best, and I know him from inside out.
We had many deep talk like a soul mate on that very week.
-I forgive him-
-He forgave me-
After that week together, I've choose to let go, to move on, yet brought along with me all the good memories and yes, forget all the hurts. Look at the bright side, remember the lesson. Yea, he made it easy for me. Surprisingly, I found peace after the chaos. That was the most graceful ending I ever had and I am thankful that he broke me and yet fix me and finally set me free.
If I were to go back in time, he is essential. I will still take the chance to go through that again and to learn what I should.
"Stay close to God, and I will always pray for you even though I am not someone who will pray. But if I happen to pray, just know that I will keep you in my prayer" he says.
We laugh. We cry. We make mistake. We loved. Maybe that's enough to last for my whole lifetime.
Our last one-sided conversation was, where you pass me a CD of a list of hillsongs. And hear you saying "sorry for everything and thank you for coming into my life"
I did not say anything in reply. Because I know that I am done and nothing can turn back the time. We both are better off without each other.
I will miss you somehow, someday and somewhere. Maybe like now, after 10 years.
It's One in the morning, past midnight, as I edit this entry.
Nothing much, I guess, he's crossed my mind again. Yes, again.
All these years without him. I have been doing fine. But tonight, walking down the memoryLane, allowing myself to see these pieces of memories again. Maybe he has found his true love by now. Well, one day, maybe I will too.
Maybe love isn't one of those things that grows with certain people. Maybe you become too big for it. Maybe it's like that sweater you always loved growing up, or your childhood bed. You outgrown it. You learn to let it go.Maybe letting go is the moment you decide that you can no longer keep the past alive inside of you.
When I was little, I thought love was about red roses and expensive dinners.. Truth is, love is giving her half of your fries when she said she wasn't hungry.
"First love may not die,
"First love may not die,
but true love can bury it."
It is just a story, you need to calm down. nothing as romantic as such yo. kthnxbye :P
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